


Gets me to the Church on Time

by BeetleQueen



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 13:17:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7894099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeetleQueen/pseuds/BeetleQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anonymous asked: Based on the Sarah's dad getting Jareth's name wrong thing you said. Jareth wants to ask Sarah to marry him properly so he goes to her father to ask for his blessing, but before he asks he does a bunch of things to make Sarah's dad like him or think he'd be a good husband/father. Sarah's dad however always manages to find something wrong with everything Jareth does. Not maliciously, just a kind of "good job why didn't you use glue instead of welding it together?" thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gets me to the Church on Time

**Author's Note:**

> Only 3 months late LMAO
> 
> Please don't hate me <3

Jareth had to do this right.  Sarah deserved perfection as far as he was concerned, and the Goblin King had painstakingly researched Above Ground pre-marital customs.  
  
However there was one custom that had him nervous. More nervous in fact than he ever had been thus far.  
  
With Sarah things were easy. They could read one another to a tee, always somehow knowing or interpreting what the other wanted.  
  
Though Sarah hadn't been old fashioned about a _certain_ pre-marital custom. The two had been enjoying each other's bodies for close to a year - and Jareth had wanted to propose on their very first night together.  
  
But a part of him knew it was too soon. And another part knew she deserved a proposal that would have her jumping for joy.  
  
Or jumping straight onto his dick. Either, or...  
  
And if Jareth was to do this right - he would first need Robert Williams' blessing.  
  
Except Robert Williams wasn't his biggest fan - less so since Sarah moved out to live Underground.  
  
"And just what will you do for a job down there?!" He'd cried.  
  
Robert seemed less fazed by the idea of a magical land existing somewhere in the beyond, and more interested in how Sarah was going to pay her way once she was there.  
  
A few obvious yet lewd suggestions jumped to the forefront of Jareth's mind, but he was smart enough not to voice them.  
  
Robert hadn't been reassured at the mention of Jareth's position as King. In fact he was even more incensed.  
  
"Young lady, I did not raise you to be a loafer, living on hand outs—"  
  
"Dad, just calm down..." Sarah had sighed, used to this kind of lecture by now.  
  
"Four years you spent doing that law degree, Sarah. Four. Years. Are you content to just throw that in the bin, and do nothing for the rest of your life?"  
  
Jareth had interjected then that being a Queen entailed a lot of work on Sarah's part - work that her education in law would actually be of great benefit to.  
  
Sarah had blushed, and Robert had turned purple. Irene just told everyone to calm down and have a nice cup of tea.  
  
Everyone was perplexed when Sarah suddenly burst into laughter.

 

* * *

 

_"You know, there are quite a few things that will prove to Sarah that you are husband material, Gareth."_

_Jareth ignored the slight, summoning a quill and a piece of parchment. "List them, please." He gave Robert an imploring look._  
  
_Fae were too easy to fuck with, the man thought with a smirk._

 

* * *

  
  
Jareth had made a spice rack from scratch. Except Jareth wasn't a man that could do much of anything without magic there to aid him.  
  
"Son..." Robert gave the lump of wood a worried look as if it were about to fall apart any moment. "You could've used glue instead of... All those nails..." Jareth slumped, his eyes large and sad. "But can't you just use... Y'know..?"  
  
Robert wasn't a fan of magic in the house - or using the word in general. But that spice rack looked like it belonged in a post-modern art exhibition - 'Abortion made pine', it's title.  
  
"I suppose I could..." Jareth's dejected face then became serious. Livid, even! "But I must prove to Sarah that I am capable of these... 'Man of the house' things..!" Robert gave him a look.  
  
"Jareth—" Jareth's eyes widened; he did know his name!!! "I think we both know if something needed fixing, or a jar needed opening..." God, he hated to say this, but Jareth was entirely useless. He was surprised the man could even feed himself without assistance. "I don't think Sarah cares how manly you are." Robert thought that much should've been obvious from the start. Sarah's taste in men was just plain weird as far as he was concerned. He'd expected a strapping young lad to be one of the first she brought home - not an ageing frilly King with abandonment issues.

"Maybe... But she deserves a proper proposal at least." Jareth was playing nervously with his gloves. "I must... take charge. Sweep her off her feet. Make her feel—"

"Like she's the only girl in the world." Robert finished. Jareth nodded. As pathetic as the man was, he could tell Jareth's heart with in the right place. "You really love her, don't you?"

 _"I do..."_ The King of the Goblins said carefully; he hoped this wasn't some kind of trick. "How could I not?" His pompous air of regality was back, and with it a surge of confidence. "She is brave, clever, patient," Robert's smirk grew, "imaginative, plucky, kind— did I say brave?"

"You did."

"She makes bad weather seem bright. She makes the Bog appear fragrant!" His hands were in his hair. "And what the hell do I have to offer?!"

"Son—" Jareth couldn't hear him, now walking circles around the kitchen.

"Wrinkles! E-Erectile disfunction..!!" Jareth's eyes were wide, and teary. "A realm full of belching, farting goblins with nary an IQ point between them!"

"Jareth, sit down..." Robert reached out, patting the man gingerly on the shoulder. "Do you... Want a beer..?" Jareth was sobbing into a lace handkerchief. "I'll get you a beer..."

 

* * *

 

"This is good... What did you say it was..?" Jareth supped at the can, two black trails of eyeliner down his face.

"Beer." Robert sighed. Before Jareth could start spouting drivel again, the man spoke. "Sarah really cares for you - that much is obvious. Irene always hounded her about getting a boyfriend... Her heart was in the right place, but I think it pushed her away." Robert looked contemplative. "When Sarah was little, all the rest of the girls played princesses. Sarah didn't like that. She wanted to be the Queen - and she told them all too." He laughed. "She didn't have a lot of friends growing up, I suppose. They couldn't handle her... charm."

"Fools." Jareth pouted. "She made a lot of friends in the Underground." He then added. "Annoying ones. Frightening ones. Her charm is very much appreciated there." He said, almost hopefully.

"I guess that's what I was afraid of. That she'd up and leave, and realise she didn't have anything worth coming back for." Robert sighed.

"I don't think she would." Jareth set down the can, fiddling again with his gloves. "She would not have run the Labyrinth all those years ago, had she not cared—"

"Wait."

_Shit._

"She said she met you in the park." Robert's eyes narrowed.

_"You really should speak to Sarah about this—"_

"Talk. **Now.** "

And so Jareth did. He told Robert about how Toby had been wished away. He told him about the Labyrinth. He told him practically everything aside from the peach dream - in hindsight it did **not** look good...

Jareth had Robert's blessing. But Sarah was in so. Much. Trouble.

 

**Author's Note:**

> • comments/kudos feed my worthless inferiority complex lmao


End file.
